Have you ever heard of the “5 by 5 rule?” I have no idea when, where, or with whom it originated, and it has some variations, but the basic idea is this:
“If it’s not going to matter in 5 years, don’t spend more than 5 minutes being upset about it.”
We would all do well to live by this rule every day of our lives! We all experience problems, disappointments, conflicts, mistakes, etc., on a daily basis, and all too often we spend too much time dwelling on what went wrong.
The reality is, most of the grievances we face in our day-to-day lives are quite minor, and will likely be completely forgotten in a matter of days, weeks, or months:
- Someone zipped in and took the parking spot you were obviously waiting for? You are understandably angry and frustrated! But it won’t matter in 5 years.
- You picked up someone else’s coffee order by mistake, and had to go back, apologize and get it sorted out. You are embarrassed and a bit frazzled, but it won’t matter in 5 years.
- You worked for hours making an intricate and decadent dessert, then forgot to set the oven timer and ruined it. You are dismayed and remorseful, but it won’t matter in 5 years.
- Your friends didn’t do nearly as much work as you did planning the surprise party, but they got the same amount of credit and appreciation. You are annoyed, but it won’t matter in 5 years.
- Your child has been eagerly looking forward to the class field trip for weeks, but woke up sick the morning of, and couldn’t go. You are sad and disappointed for them, but it won’t matter in 5 years.
- Your relative loudly complimented everything at the big family dinner, except the dish you contributed. You feel snubbed and a bit hurt, but know it won’t matter in 5 years.
Obviously the myriad of problems we face in life are not always so neatly swept aside in just 5 minutes, but the underlying sentiment is still a good one: Don’t spend too much time dwelling on something that really won’t matter in the long run!
As you continue through the holiday season and everything it entails—crowded stores, long lines, shipping delays, holiday parties, big dinners, family traditions, vacation travel, etc.—you will undoubtedly encounter dozens of upsetting moments along the way. As you do, try to remember the 5 by 5 rule, and don’t allow yourself to dwell on the minor stuff more than 5 minutes! I guarantee, your holidays will be all the better for it!
