We all view the world through our own experiences and perspectives. Which means that we ourselves are viewed by others through their experiences and perspectives.
Inspirational blogger Nanea Hoffman is attributed with penning these words of wisdom: “You can’t control how other people receive your energy.” Hoffman goes on to explain,
“Anything you do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at the moment. Which is not about you. Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.”
What we do and who we are gets filtered by every person around us and by their own experiences and perspectives in that moment. There’s always a filter.
Just think back to a time when you said or did something rude or unkind. Maybe you were rude to a sales clerk, snapped at your spouse, or harshly reprimanded an energetic child. In the moment, what were you going through? Maybe that sales clerk was the third unhelpful person you’d had to deal with in the last hour. Maybe your massive headache amplified whatever transgression you felt your spouse had committed. Maybe the child’s rowdiness was interrupting an important phone conversation with your boss.
Whatever the situation, what you were going through in the moment colored your reaction. Whatever each person did to trigger a response from you, most likely on another day or under different circumstances—with a different filter—you would have responded very differently.
So turn that around. When someone is less than kind or polite to you, don’t forget about their filter. How they see and respond to you is often not about you at all, but about them and about what they are going through or have gone through in the past.
As Hoffman said, “Just keep doing your thing with as much integrity and love as possible.” That’s the best thing we can do!
