I have no problem admitting that I’m not perfect. There are countless things I don’t do well, and I know I have many personal flaws—just like everyone else. I’m not perfect. You’re not perfect. No one is perfect. But sometimes, without even realizing it, we expect perfection from others.
Unvoiced Expectations
If you’ve been in any personal relationship, you’ve probably experienced the conflict that arises from unmet expectations. As someone once said, ‘unvoiced expectation is premeditated resentment.’ Thinking someone should do something or behave in a certain way, but never voicing that, often leads to disappointment and resentment on your part, and bewilderment and frustration on the other person’s part.
We do this in personal relationships and business relationships. Purposeful or not, we set unvoiced expectations. We make assumptions and start anticipating certain actions, behavior, or results without ever voicing that. And when those expectations aren’t met, we’re surprised and annoyed.
I know I’ve been guilty of this. I think we all have. Without even realizing it, we expect people to be perfect, and when it becomes apparent that they are not, we feel disappointed, angry, or even betrayed.
Imperfection is Okay
The thing is, no one is perfect, and that’s okay. Just as we each need to come to terms with our own imperfections, we also need to accept and embrace those of other people. Imperfections, after all, are what make us human.
In an article titled “Give Thanks for Imperfect People,” author Bruce Kasanoff wrote this:
“If you wait for perfection, you will never have strong personal or business relationships. No one is perfect. No one comes close… If you desire incredibly meaningful human relationships, you must not only accept but also embrace human imperfections. If you desire to lead others, or simply work well with them, you must do the same.”
We need to stop expecting people to be perfect, because we’re just setting them up to disappoint us. By expecting perfection, we’re paving the way to conflict. Instead, we must learn to be understanding, give the benefit of the doubt, and extend forgiveness and second chances. We’re all imperfect people. And as Kasanoff wrote,
“Together, we bring each other much joy and beauty. Together, we make the world a spectacular place.”
Question: Have you been disappointed by others when they’ve failed to be perfect? How can you begin embracing their imperfections?
