We each have many conversations every day ranging from personal to professional. The topics of these conversations vary just as much as the individuals with whom you have them.
There are two ways to listen, described as passive and active. The passive listener hears and translates but often has other things taking focus in his or her head. The active listener is listening with a purpose. In order to be a truly excellent communicator, you MUST learn to be an active listener.
Unfortunately listening has become more about gleaning just enough of what’s being said rather than getting the details. Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.” I definitely have been guilty of that!
In addition to this, we live in a world of distractions. Think about all of the half-heard conversations you hear from behind your smartphone or computer. We also, as a culture, struggle with listening to things that do not pique our interest. Regardless of these barriers, you must choose to be an engaged, active listener.
5 Tips For Becoming an Engaged Listener:
- Keep your thoughts on the person speaking and not on what you will say next.
- When possible, remove other obstacles to active listening. Close your laptop, stop what you are working on, and put your phone away.
- Be mindful of things you don’t understand. Don’t necessarily focus on them, but commit them to memory in order to be able to address them later.
- Wait to formulate a response. A short silence can feel uncomfortable to some, but is often necessary and is okay! Take a brief moment when the person is done speaking to organize your thoughts and formulate a response.
- Ask thoughtful questions and follow-up questions, demonstrating that you not only are paying attention, but are interested in what they have to say.
I challenge you, as you engage in various conversations today, to be an active listener. Don’t let your mind drift away so you are listening to just enough to get by. Don’t dwell on what you are going to say next. Remove unnecessary distractions and truly focus on the speaker and what they are saying. I promise, this is a skill you won’t regret developing!
