The following piece of wisdom has been circulating on social media for a few years now, often attributed to different sources (from Warren Buffett to Bruce Lee to various Twitter users); but no matter who coined this particular advice, the wisdom it contains is excellent:
“You will continue to suffer if you have an emotional reaction to everything that is said to you. True power is sitting back and observing everything with logic; true power is restraint. If words control you that means everyone else can control you; breathe and allow things to pass.” – unknown
This reminds me of another excellent piece of wisdom, which has been worded in many ways but boils down to this: you cannot control anyone’s actions, but you can control your reaction.
Wow. Excellent, excellent advice and wisdom. But definitely easier said than done!
Obviously different people have different personalities and instinctual responses to conflict and disagreement, but overall I think that in the moment, when someone’s actions or words are beginning to create an emotional reaction in us, it is very, very hard not to react in that moment with that emotion.
Whether your reaction is built on frustration, annoyance, anger, embarrassment, defeat, exasperation, or indignation, and whether it’s directed toward a coworker, boss, employee, colleague, spouse, child, friend, student, or stranger, it can feel almost impossible not to immediately act and speak on the emotion building up inside.
So how can we develop that oh-so-powerful trait known as restraint? Next week we will look at several practical ways to do just that. In the meantime, join me in practicing this solid, simple advice: breathe and allow things to pass.
