I would be remiss to end the series on communication from a few weeks ago without emphasizing the role listening plays in solid communication. We each have many conversations every day ranging from personal to professional. The topics of these conversations vary just as much as the individuals with whom you have them.
There are two ways to listen, described as passive and active. The passive listener merely hears and translates but often has other things taking focus in his or her head. The active listener is listening with a purpose. In order to be a truly excellent communicator, you MUST learn be an active listener.
Unfortunately listening has become more about gleaning just enough of what’s being said rather than getting the details. Stephen R. Covey once said, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply.”
In addition to this, we live in a world of distractions. Think about all of the half-heard conversations you hear from behind your computer. We also, as a culture, struggle with listening to things that do not pique our interest. Regardless of these barriers, you must choose to be an active listener.
4 Tips For Becoming an Engaged Listener:
- Keep your thoughts on the person speaking and not on what you will say next.
- When possible, remove other obstacles to active listening. Close your laptop, stop what you are working on, and put your phone away.
- Be mindful of things you don’t understand. Don’t focus on them, but commit them to memory in order to be able to address them later.
- Wait to formulate a response. Most people don’t enjoy silence, but silence is often necessary. Take a brief moment when the person is done speaking to organize your thoughts and formulate a response.
I challenge you, as you engage in various conversations today, to be an active listener. Has your mind drifted away so you are listening to just enough to get by? Or are you removing unnecessary distractions and focusing on the speaker?
