Most of us have some degree of “people-pleaser” in our personality. Even if you don’t worry too much about making everyone happy, it’s likely—at least subconsciously—that you care about how others perceive you.
It may be a bit backwards, but if we are honest with ourselves, sometimes as much as we desire to be successful, we also want to appear successful. At some level, we all want to impress others. We enjoy admiration, appreciation, and respect, and it feels good to hear the words “Good job!” or “Great idea!” It’s always nice to get that affirmation that we’ve succeeded.
While there’s nothing wrong with appreciating the hard-earned respect of others, our desire for affirmation can sometimes sabotage our decision-making process.
Difficult decisions should be made based on careful consideration, our own experience and expertise, and by seeking the wisdom and expertise of others. However, we should never put a higher premium on the opinion of others than on our own intuition.
Many leaders have reached crossroads where they’ve had to choose between what they thought was best, and what others expected. Sadly, in order to meet expectations and avoid criticism, many leaders give in to that pressure and choose to do what others think is best instead of what they think is best. The result? Almost always some level of regret.
Instead of making decisions based on others’ perceptions and expectations, follow the advice of Eleanor Roosevelt: “Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.” While it’s been over seventy years since ER imparted that insight, it is still wisdom to live by. No matter how hard we try to please others, there will always be someone who finds fault in what we do. And no matter how adamantly we are opposed, if we fail to do what we feel to be right, we will always live with that regret, and wonder, “What if?”
Don’t let other people’s opinions—right, wrong, or indifferent—influence your decisions more than your own intuition. Don’t let your fear of other people’s perceptions or potential disapproval make you choose something that you don’t “feel in your heart to be right.” While it is certainly wise to seek and take into account the insight and expertise of others, at the end of the day your decisions need to be made by YOU, not them.
“Do what you feel in your heart to be right—for you’ll be criticized anyway.”
