Without ever opening your mouth, you and every other living human being make thousands of powerful statements each and every day. These powerful statements have a direct and lasting impact, whether positive, negative or neutral, on your personal and professional success, happiness, and joy in life.
Our society places tremendous emphasis and importance on verbal skills, vocabulary, pronunciation, communication styles and presentation skills. We are encouraged to record some of our conversations, verbal communications and presentations for careful review, study and improvement. I am in support of all of this.
However, most of us fall far short in placing enough emphasis, importance and focus on assuring that the extremely powerful (and inevitable) non-verbal statements we make each day are in support of… who we want to be, where we want to go, what we want to contribute and accomplish, and the legacy we wish to create and leave in the future. A narrow and common perspective of this concept is “dress for success.” Dress is important but hardly scratches the surface. Far more important and relevant is the core of the matter… which is internal. Never forget that internal dominates and controls all most all of the external. And so it is with human beings.
This very day you have already made many powerful statements, without ever opening your mouth, that reveal with startling clarity, exactly who you really are, what your highest priorities really are and what really drives your personal and professional priorities, perspectives and life. You can hide, disguise and modify a lot of things with “dress.” Given a little time, it is virtually impossible to hide, disguise or modify the reality of who and what you really are. Over time, actions speak much louder and reveal far more than words, verbal skills, communication skills, presentation skills or “dress.”
So… what to do? I suggest at least the following:
- Focus on improving and refining that which is within your control. That is you! The internal you. The core, heart, soul and mind of the matter. You have little or no control over almost all that is external. You have much control and influence over the internal you.
- Define and do the difficult things necessary to draw ever closer to becoming the person you truly want to become. This does not and will not happen accidentally or automatically. It is hard work and it is focused hard work over time. It will never end. This is your life’s work… becoming a person who more effectively serves and leads others!
- Accept and embrace the inevitable fact that you reveal your imperfect self and your true priorities via thousands of powerful statements you make each day without ever opening your mouth. It will continue to happen… every day. The only question is whether you will leverage that inevitability to further that which you wish to become, achieve and contribute.
- Because you are becoming exactly who you really want to be… if not you would change it… appropriately reveal who you really are and the dreams, desires and priorities that drive your personal and professional life. Be yourself. Be unique. Be interesting. Be appropriate. Be different. Different is very good in this context. Be transparent. There are very few secrets in life anyway…
- Always be aware that you are constantly making and sending very powerful statements without ever opening your mouth. Awareness is a critical principle of any and all success!
- Form a new habit. Two or three times a day, reflect for a minute or two on the many powerful non-verbal statements you have been making and sending during the past few hours. Note those that are in support of your deepest desires and your highest priorities for the future. Devise ways to strengthen those statements! Note the statements that are not in support of your deepest desires and highest priorities for the future. Immediately devise ways to eliminate or significantly revise these statements. Solidify this habit over time and it will significantly change your life… and your success.
- Ask those you trust, respect and admire for input regarding the non-verbal statements you are constantly making and sending. We all have many blind spots and no human sees himself or herself as they truly are. Self assessment is very difficult and usually very flawed. A true friend or colleague will tell you the truth.
- For more on the critical importance and the positive impact of forming this new habit, check out “Make Good Habits and Become Their Slave“
I challenge you to place more focus and importance on awareness and examination of the powerful statements you are making everyday without ever opening your mouth. Even the smallest adjustments, over time, move even the mightiest mountains and rivers. You and those you serve will greatly benefit. I guarantee it!